Casually Explained: Interior Design

"The combination of organic modern and warm minimalism. This contemporary design incorporates not round, not straight, but sculpted flowing shapes. It decides to skip raw wood and plush fabric in favor of textured wood paneling and tactile layers. Even the most designer of chubby sofas and scandy mid-century sectionals are out in favor of soft flowing geometry, aka the croissant."

"Well, these are more trends than styles and a true modern aesthetic is still developing. Where do we go from here? Well, you just have to take emerging trends and continue the story. As a newly married couple, organic modern has naturally become bored of Japandandy. And having more disposable income, but nothing secondhand to improve the place with, as farmhouse chic has been long forgotten, the modern woman seeks to reinvoke the ephemeral sense of love by introducing retro warmth. Whether it's the nostalgic feel of grandpa core from their youth or trying to rekindle the taste of what life is supposed to be like from her tuskanyany honeymoon with a fresh breeze of Mediterranean."

"The truth is, while we have remained silent our whole lives, the modern man has always known exactly what we've always wanted. It wasn't minimalism. We just couldn't afford anything. It wasn't millennial gray. We just didn't want to go to more than one store more than one time. It wasn't even war minimalism. That's just Millennial Gray in the Dune universe, which we are all very excited about. What is actually occurring in the modern man's brain is he's trying to formulate and express the thought, "Dear wife, I see your fuzzy curvy furniture and nostalgic chairs you found on Marketplace. You can override my minimalism and straight edges and do what you wish, but I have one request. You must incorporate the one true love of all men, the Chrysler building."

"Because while the late millennial hipster was weaned on minimalism, then developed a taste for 70s retrofuturism while accidentally causing irreparable collateral damage to Gen Z, it has all led us to go another 50 years into the past to 1920 and bring back what modern man truly yearns for. Art Deco 2025, the Empire State Strikes Back."

"First, sculpted furniture is a cope and impractical. Only hotels and rich people want impressive furniture you can't sit on. Girls want soft and cozy, and guys want sacred geometry. And there's already a solution to that. The return of the bean bag, the ultimate furniture and shape."

"Next, grandpa core nostalgia could only have a life cycle of one generation. But Mediterranean is an entire land mass that will last as long as the ice caps. So, at least two generations. Clearly, that's in."

"Next, we need a worrying amount of plants. Two incomes won't be able to afford children or pets by 2035. So, we have to have something that depends on us."

"Next, put in glass block walls separating rooms for obvious reasons. I really like them and want them to make a comeback."

"Lastly, no one under 65 can afford an actual house in any city. So, we're all planning to abscondone from society and alope in a rural Hollywood aesthetic hobby farm using the money from when our 14-legg NBA overunder finally hits."

"I present Neoco Cottage Escape."

"Here we have a beautiful Mediterranean themed art deco cottage exterior. Not too big, but still really nice for a small family and little garden. The dream you were all promised but never received."

"You might be looking at the glass block partition and think, 'Wow, that really does separate the room despite taking up almost no visual space. No way that could be used as a thematic construction material throughout the rest of the home, though.' Wrong. Come with me. Your dining room and lounge initiates guests to a taste of contemporary 2035 design while being grounded in familiar traditional furnishings. There are lots of plants who will love you unconditionally and supply you with precious oxygen along with a bold verdant green feature wall. Here's a bigger glass block partition. Very nice."

"You can see the bed is not just for looks and comfort, but also features six USBC charging ports, the universal standard."

"We've incorporated art deco brass detailing along with a North African wicker basket. People always forget there's more than one Mediterranean coast. Notice the soft wake of natural light from both directions. Wonder how that's possible. Like most new homes, we haven't included a shower. Teflon concentration in the water is high enough it just bounces off you."

"The permanently affixed TV comes equipped with a mandatory 247 live stream of Sora News where currently you can see from a generated visualization of Twitter posts that China is drone striking New York City to disperse nanobots into the drinking water."

"The stained hollow glass blocks 99.9% of facial recognition satellites. Outside we have a few raised beds for our victory garden. That's essential for when the EMPs prevent prime delivery from arriving with the rations."

"Going down to the basement, we have our showstoppping relax and refuge room, which is not just an elegant place to compose yourself, but features a beautiful expansive view of the French Riviera. Courtesy of Huawei 16K OLED VLife display. With a subscription of just 35 seconds of generation tokens per month, only skippable ads will be shown."

"The walls are 70-in reinforced blastresistant concrete with a beautiful Himalayan salt slab finish, which of course wouldn't be complete without not one but two glass block partitions."

"Concluding our 2035 home tour, we're asking just 59,999 universal basic labor hours with our blue membership card. And prices for our red membership card begin at just 499 stimulus checks. Together forever, multigenerational family financing available."